just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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