awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
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glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
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Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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