We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
