Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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