Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
