my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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