I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
