whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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