I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
