Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
