If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
