Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
