it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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