I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
