The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
