What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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