he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
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you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
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I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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