i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
