fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Screwed.edu
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
