All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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