tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
