i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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