Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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