Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
did you just send me my own nude
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
