Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
