So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
