That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I am available for nakedness
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
