I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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