Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I cannot find my penis.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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