I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
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So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
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Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes