I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fling myself into the sun
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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