i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I need to align my fucking chakras
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize