I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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