you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
