I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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