after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
