my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize