What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
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