Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
