she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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