yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
