Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
