I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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