you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
