Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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