hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I think people are normalizing furries
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
