I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
