May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
