dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
