Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
