i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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