My first STD was from a foam party
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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