We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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