Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
