i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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