that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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