I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
