Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
