Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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