So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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