Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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