dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
