It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
